Jodean’s Book
Jodean’s Book
I am so excited that my book is nearing completion; my enthusiasm for the book prompted this website. The Phoenix Bearing Pearls: A True Story of Triumph Over Abuse Loss Addiction and Self-Destruction is available here.
I wrote “The Phoenix Bearing Pearls: A True Story of Triumph Over Abuse Loss Addiction and Self-Destruction” for all of us who have suffered with personal losses great and small. And not only did we experience the pain of the loss itself, were overcome with guilt we were not able to resolve. I know others searched like I did for easy ways to feel better. Life’s offerings can be very painful, and we are so often told as I was to “just move on.” Moving on was an appreciated term but I found rather inadequate because the first step is removing the painful experience and subsequent guilt to accept, then we can move forward. The following is the best quote directly from Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, I have come across regarding loss and acceptance: “Finding acceptance may be just having more good days than bad ones. As we begin to live again and enjoy our life, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved one. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs and heal; we move, we change, we grow, we evolve.” I wish I could have read that so many years ago to understand the process better. Needless to say, I was not happy during those years. Of course losing my eye changed my life in various ways and it took a long time to understand and develop my ability to make the best of such circumstances. With hard work and dedication to having a better life, I was able to remove the old infected emotions to take charge and live my life as best I can. Surviving day to day was not nearly good enough, I wanted more. It was difficult to give up some of my beliefs and past attitudes but it was possible little by little.
Through the book we travel together over life’s obstacles, under the gloomy misunderstandings and unfortunate connections to turning it all around and feel good. Together we gradually comprehend that life gives us what it will and we must make the best of it. The circumstances of life are ever changing and evolving and we need to be able to evolve with it. For me it was finding my ability to forgive and love what life had to offer and what the mirror holds everyday.
Unfortunately, I can’t boast of a secret success formula, fabulous product line or epiphanies to hand out to reach instant happiness. I don’t think there are any, if I can find some I will be sure to let you know. Often the quick fixes, like crash diets, don’t stick around very long and we find ourselves looking for the next quick fix soon enough. When we seek relief or survival only, we do so for the common reason of distracting our attention away from or wanting an easy way to fix the deeper issues. Why do we do the things we do? Because we want life’s remedies to come as fast as the disasters (which I think would be only fair) and we feel entitled to things while at the same time falter with our lack of confidence and inadequacies. We are complex creatures who need to be loved and need to be forgiven. The best place and only place actually to start is with us. Forgiveness and love will take you any where you want to go, I am certain of that.
My best message and what I am most proud of may surprise you: heal your pain then you can forgive yourself, accept yourself and start being happy. If you are in pain all of the time, there is no room to grow as it circles with the same frustration over the same issues year after year. Completely exhausted from my failure to break my reliance on the eating disorder and self-injury, I could not have imagined it would take almost 8 years of struggle and hard work to finish the battle. The compulsive behavior was never satisfying for me it did not help me with anything it only perpetuated my negative and angry feelings. The book lets us know with positive enthusiasm it is 100% OK to be less than perfect and there is nothing wrong with you for not being able to snap your fingers and “just get over it”, “time will heal your wounds”, “to lose weight, just diet”, “to keep your weight off, just exercise”, to overcome an eating disorder, “just stop what you are doing”, and my personal favorite, “you don’t look THAT bad”, and on and on we could go. How many times have you heard those statements and more? Seriously, wouldn’t it be great if we could all “just – whatever?” Personally, if I could have done that I would have never suffered, never been tightly bound by my feelings that stifled each breath. I would have drawn in as much air into my lungs as possible and said, “Whew, I am glad that’s over and I can just move on now.”
Hence, I have written my book to communicate my story and philosophies to you, in hope it will help you make your own realizations, set goals and begin on your own path to happiness and a satisfying life. As part of my persona I strongly believe exercise is medicine and I use it as thus. It is hard to exercise consistently but it will be immensely helpful along with eating healthy. Sugary and indulgent foods make us feel better in the moment but take away our ability to function at our best. One of my pet sayings is, “you can not always eat for the purpose of your mouth alone.” I mean we have to eat for our bodies and not just for flavor. Diet and exercise are both critical to fighting through negative feelings. My target release date is August 19, 2013; I can’t wait for it to be available to you. I know you will find it entertaining, funny and informative as well.
I have to say thank you to all those who gave me the huge amount of love and help I needed to write the book, and for Carolyn Sheltaw and web God Jim Bunte to develop this site. And Most of all to Brenda Judy, the best editor on the planet. I have a number of others book planned for next year, please stay tuned!
